It’s okay to give yourself a breather between relationships

By: Taren Vaughan

Break ups can be some of toughest things that one has to deal with in relationships. We all handle them in different ways. Some of us totally shut down, removing ourselves from all forms of life imaginable. Others of us pour our heart and soul out to anyone that is willing to listen to our long, drawn out stories about our recent split. Then there are those who, instead of falling back from the dating scene altogether, waste no time at all and jump right into a new relationship with someone else. Why are we so pressed to get right back into another relationship again?

Sometimes we are so quick to start up a brand new relationship because we are not over our last one. It’s too painful to be by yourself, continuously thinking about your ex. I have to admit, sitting around wondering what your former boo is doing and who they are with can take its toll on you emotionally. But that doesn’t mean that you have to jump up and find a new man the very next day. Nine times out of ten, this new guy will probably end up being nothing more than a “rebound man” for you. You have not given yourself a chance to heal from your last relationship. Therefore, you know that you are not going to put forth a full effort. When your mind and heart are elsewhere, how can you progress with this new person? It would be a very hard thing to do. And that would be unfair to not only him, but to you also.

Aside from the fear of being lonely, one of the biggest reasons why we move on to the next one with such haste is because our ex has moved on. It is heart breaking to see that someone that you have invested so much time with has found somebody new. If you’re not over the break up, then he shouldn’t be either right? Well not exactly. It’s a known fact that men tend to move on quicker than we do so chances are he has his eye on a new woman as we speak. But that doesn’t give you the cue to run out and snatch up the first guy you see.

The best thing anyone can do after a break up, especially if it’s a bad one, is to spend some time by yourself. That way you can really think about everything with a clear mind. During this alone time, you start to think about a number of things. What things will you do differently in your next relationship? What is it that you want in an ideal partner? Finding the answers to these questions is important if you don’t want a repeat of your last relationship.

The truth is, some of us just don’t know how to be alone. We all have those friends that just can’t live without a man. They would die a slow death if they had to live the single life for one day let alone years. Is being by yourself really that awful? Being single is not as bad as some of us make it out to be. You don’t have to worry about the drama and nonsense that can go on in relationships. You are totally carefree. So why not enjoy the moment? Because once you do get into that next relationship, it is no longer just about you. It is about you and the other person that you are involved with. Do yourself a favor and take a step back from the whole relationship scene after a break up and invest in some much needed time to yourself.

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