Clarifying your “relationship” with the man you are dealing with can save you heart ache.

By: Taren Vaughan

Has there ever been a time where you were involved with a guy and you had no idea what you two were? It seemed like you were in a relationship but you were not sure what to call it. I mean you do everything that a couple would do so why not call it a relationship? If this sounds like familiar territory to you, chances are you were a victim of the guessing game.

In this “game”, one has a tendency to make numerous assumptions. There is just one small problem with this. There could be no validity behind them whatsoever. And you know what happens when you make an assumption so I don’t even have to say it. Here’s the thing, you shouldn’t have to assume anything. You should make it point to know exactly where you stand with someone. If no official agreement has been made between the two of you, do you honestly think that there is no chance that he is seeing other women? For all you know, he could be doing some of the very same things he does with you with another female. Can you really be upset about it though?

Without a title or an “understanding”, there is room for both people to do as they please. You would hope that thing called a conscience would kick in, especially if you are intimate with someone. But you can’t rely on the loyalty trait in people these days. It’ll probably be in your best interest to figure out the extent of your situation in the very beginning.

The guessing game is one game that you don’t want to be apart of. I found myself playing it a couple times in the past. And it left me with nothing but hurt feelings and in a state of confusion. Overall, it’s just not a good look. How would you describe him to your friends? Is he your boyfriend? Just a friend? A jump off? What would you say? How could you possibly explain what you and this guy are to other people if you don’t even know yourself? This is a tough predicament to be in.

When you clarify, I mean really clarify, your situation with someone, you will no longer have to guess. Feelings will be spared because both parties know what the deal is. If your relationship is solely based on sex, then you know not to expect dinner and a movie. If you see him out with another girl, don’t get mad. Remember, he told you exactly what you all were.

Although some of us hate to admit it, we have played the guessing game with a guy at some point or another. We really don’t know what to call our “relationship” with this man so we just kind of go with the flow. It may seem easy to do that at first. But after awhile, it can become too much to deal with. So before it gets to that point, find out exactly what you and your gentleman friend are. He may not give you the answer that you are looking for. But at least you will have peace of mind and won’t be taking a wild stab in the dark at where you two stand.

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