Is it really always your fault when things don’t work out?

By: Taren Vaughan

Does it ever seem like you just can’t win for losing? No matter how hard you try to make your relationships work, your attempts are unsuccessful. You start to think that maybe you are the cause of all your bad luck. It can’t be their fault; it’s got to be you that can’t get your act together. Is it really always you that’s the problem or is it the people that you are dealing with?

Now there are some instances when you can take full responsibility for your failed partnership. Whether you stepped outside of the relationship or just did some all around unruly things while you two were together, you know who is to blame. But sometimes, you really should be pointing the finger in the opposite direction.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, the people that you choose to get seriously involved with are the ones with the issues and not you? A lot of times, failed relationships have nothing to do with you personally. They are often reflections of your choice of partners. And we all know what happens when we get with those not so savory characters; Splits-Ville will be right around the corner for you two. Perhaps you all are just not compatible with each other. Or it could be that the person is just not relationship material. The list could go on and on for days.

The biggest thing is not to get into the “it’s all my fault” mode. Too often, we become overly saddened and depressed when things don’t work out in our relationships, especially when we know we put our best foot forward. But to say that you are responsible for all your relationship woes is not always a fair assessment.

When you know in your heart that you made an honest effort to make your partnership last, then there is no need to be down about it ending. You did your part. And it’s up to your significant other to do theirs. If they don’t, then a break-up was bound to happen no matter what you did. To be honest, when things end between you and these people, it could be a blessing in disguise. It doesn’t seem like it at first because you are so upset and heartbroken over the whole situation. But with time, you will come to realize that it wasn’t you after all. Some people just have some real issues of their own that they need to handle. So don’t be too hard on yourself when you all go your separate ways. Believe me, there are some relationships that should be dismantled with the quickness. So before you deem yourself “relationship challenged”, know that there is that special person out there for you. It may just take some time, and a few unsuccessful partnerships, before you find them.

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