Looking for love in the club? Four reasons why you’re wasting your time.

By: Amanda Anderson

No one said finding love would be easy. But for those living the single life, actions and patterned behaviors may signal that deep in subconsciousness, most believe love only requires fabulous clothes, college degrees, large bank accounts, and perfect figures. This belief of easy love leads us to seek love in all of the wrong places, and become disheveled when we walk out of meaningless relationships empty handed. Can anyone really be angry to find meaningless relationships from meaningless places? It’s a question I ask since I find that most of the single life has been beautifully crafted with cocktails and conversations full of the ridiculous men we found in the nightclubs.

Before you waste any more money, and any more time dancing it up while looking for the big love on the club scene, I’ll give you 4 reasons why you would be better off frequenting the places where you are most likely to be yourself and embark on some conversation that could lead you to the kind of love that could rock you like no other.


1. The Illusion

The club scene is full of false imagery and an ambiance of lustful creatures.

How many hours do you spend perfecting your hair, make-up, and selecting an outfit to make you stand out in an environment full of duplicates? Duplicates you ask? Yes, duplicates. Not one single person in that club has managed to arrive as themselves, so in essence, not one of you is unique in any way.

We are all guilty of putting on our best and relying on the physical to bring us something that requires so much more.

You’re more likely to find real love in a place that requires you to be your real self.


2. The Prohibition of Meaningful Conversation

The club isn’t the best scene to strike up a decent conversation. In fact, it’s the worst place to try to talk to someone, let alone get to know them. The music is blasting, people are sweating out their hormones, and false imagery prevails; so why on earth should anyone be motivated for deep conversation?

If you want to find something worth holding on to, you need to be at a place where you can have a conversation.

3. Men Don’t Look for Love in the Clubs

Most men aren’t going to the clubs to find wives, they are looking for someone to take home or sleep with in a week tops.

Clubs are strictly for sexual conquests, and if you don’t plan on being some man’s sexual plaything, you might want to refrain from handing over your number to some thirsty dude in the club. Just because y’all grinded to your favorite songs all night doesn’t mean he is looking for love. He was all about the physical in the club, and he’ll be all about it if he can get you outside the club. Dance a little, but don’t take it any further than that if you are looking for more than club inspired sex.

4. Alcohol is the Gateway to Pursuit

In the club, men don’t show they are interested by any romantic gestures, instead they buy you a drink. And you may want them to buy a round of drinks for you and your girlfriends, but the end result is not worth the cocktails.

He’ll follow you around the club all night because you were too cheap to buy your own drinks. Clearly you can do bad by yourself, and pay for your drinks by yourself as well. But shouldn’t it take more than alcohol to get your attention?

Buy your own drinks and look for love elsewhere.

You may still believe somewhere deep in your heart that you could get lucky and meet the man of your dreams in the club or at some lavish party. I don’t know a woman alive who found any success, and I know plenty of men who can thank the clubs for the latest sexual escapades. In love, you need to be able to be yourself and get to know a person without the glitz, false imagery, and lustful ambiance that dwells in the nightclubs. And if you are so much more than a fling, embark on different places that require a man to sit down and get to know the real you.

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