While the end of a marriage is hard enough, bitterness only makes it harder. Are these ladies victors or just plain childish?

By: Amanda Anderson

Now I’m quite aware that both Tameka and Mashonda have suffered to some degree in their failed marriages, and I sympathize with any woman who’s been hurt in the process of loving someone. It’s a painful thing to endure the end of a marriage, especially when you thought your marriage would never end. But although I do sympathize to a certain extent, there’s the grown woman in me that is slowly running out of understanding, and that’s simply because I’m quite tired of seeing two grown women make complete fools out of themselves for the sake of revenge and ghetto twitter tantrums. Enough is enough, and I think it’s time to address these bitter women tactics, and simultaneously inspire you to do better in your own life. I’m all about growth, but it’s obvious that these two ex celebrity wives are not.

Mashonda Tifrere : The Chronic Interview Giver

Behaving Like: A 16 year old
Real Age: 29

When rumors started to surface that Swizz Beatz was making sweet adulterous music with Alicia Keys, most of us balked at the possibility that old Swizzy “Two Timing” Beatz could even manage to get one date, and let alone one night, with one of the most gorgeous and talented sisters on the R&B scene. But months later, Mashonda herself confirmed the rumors to be true, and after a few generic and poorly construed statements of denial by Swizz, the couple finally went public, with a pregnant Alicia Keys in the spotlight.

At that moment, most of us who could see past Alicia Keys the artist, began to feel for Mashonda. This woman had married a man she had hoped to build a foundation with, endured his extramarital affair that resulted in a kid outside the marriage, and even gave birth to his son despite his trifling sidelining antics. Even though Swizz was liable to stick his beating machine in just about any European model or R&B starlet, Mashonda was committed to making her marriage work. Somewhere the wires must have gotten crossed because while Mashonda was under the impression that they were working on their marriage, Swizz Beatz was fine tuning Alicia Keys at some hotel in Atlanta.

Is Alicia Keys file for interfering in a marriage? Of course she was. In no way can any sane minded person say else wise. Marriage is something sacred, and no one should take part in its destruction. Most importantly, no married man should be content with destroying his own marriage.

But regardless of who’s really responsible for the end of the marriage, Mashonda is wrong for refusing to move on from the situation.

Mashonda is giving interview after interview on how Alicia Keys destroyed her marriage. And when asked why she is still talking about the situation (as Swizz and Alicia are now married), she states that she wants to help someone else in a similar situation. And my question is, when are you going to help yourself Mashonda?

There is nothing therapeutic about dragging your own heartache through the mud in a series of interviews with high profile publications. While Swizz and Alicia have started their own lives together, Mashonda has put hers on hold and still hashing out the juicy details on how Swizz cheated and moved on to Alicia Keys. It’s as if Mashonda just refuses to move on.

And that’s just not fabulous or healthy for any woman. When a man moves on, you should too. Lick your wounds, heal, get your ass up and get your own piece of happiness. Newsflash: love won’t show up if you’re too busy kicking it up with heartbreak. Choose one.

Does Mashonda not know that happiness is the best revenge…because right now, Swizz and Alicia are winning. They are expecting their first child together, successful newly weds with great careers in the music business, meanwhile Mashonda is looking more like the bitter ex wife that is just too pathetic to get over an end to a rocky marriage. Mashonda is no victor, she’s more like a leach who rather suck on a failed marriage for life, even when she should be praising God that Swizz is no longer her problem, but Alicia’s.

Ladies, it hurts when a man or even a husband steps out on you. But know that God handles people better than we ever could. And He won’t handle anybody until you decide to let go. I guarantee you that Alicia and Swizz will remain happy as long as Mashonda continues to give interviews. Too bad she doesn’t know that she is the one prolonging that karma she keeps on talking about.

Tameka Raymond: The Twitter Gangster

Behaving Like: A 14 year old
Real Age: 39

When Usher Raymond decided that he was going to marry a celebrity stylist who was more known for committing petty crimes than dressing the black celebrity elite, we all knew that this wasn’t going to end well. Tameka Foster was Usher’s type: older and intriguing. And by intriguing, I mean everybody wanted to know what on earth Usher, a certified R&B crooning sex symbol, saw in a woman who was known to have a bad attitude and treat his mother like trash every chance she got.

Usher’s career began to suffer as Tameka’s erratic behavior continued to make headlines, and put the star in a position in which he became more of a bully to fans who didn’t approve of his wife. While Usher was supposed to be promoting his lack luster album at the time, he was too busy throwing temper tantrums on the radio and major networks in hopes to defend his wife’s questionable reputation.

When album sales were announced and Usher faced the doom of another flopped album (something he hadn’t experienced in over 10 years), he was forced to make a huge decision. He filed for divorce shortly after Tameka’s plastic surgery scare two years ago.

But we still haven’t heard the last of Tameka. When reports and photos surfaced of Usher and a new girlfriend, Tameka took to Twitter to tweet her disapproval ( as if her approval was even needed). She ragged on this woman from everything to looks, her taste in fashion, and questioned how he ex could make such a downgrade after divorcing her as if she was some trophy her damn self.

And it didn’t stop there. When fans (yes even Tameka has fans) asked Tameka via Twitter about why Usher’s mother didn’t comment on Tameka during a VH1 Documentary, she tweeted Jonetta knew better because she’s so hood. In fact, Tameka spends most of her time harassing anyone who disapproved of her and her marriage, and this ranges from radio personalities to D list celebrities.

This is what makes me question Tameka’s maturity. What 40 year old woman still throws temper tantrums? Or worse, what grown woman takes to Twitter to “check” people?

I can’t think of any classy woman who finds anything fabulous about being “hood.” This woman has like 6 kids, but spends the majority of her time tweeting like a jealous 14 year old girl who deep down inside envies her ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend, and can only manage to find flaws in her looks and fashion, while we can find many flaws in Tameka that were divorce worthy.

Ladies, it’s nothing cute about being a twitter bully. It just makes you look childish, and won’t make your situation any better. When a relationship ends, have some class and deal with your pain in private. You’ll come off looking more mature, and even your age.

Now I didn’t write this article to throw shade at Tameka or Mashonda, but it’s important to call a sister out when she’s acting below her level of fabulousness. When a woman reaches her mid 20s, she has to learn how to move on from bad relationships and marriages. You can’t revert back to a 14 year old because you got your feelings hurt, like a real woman, you just have to let go and move forward.

When a man doesn’t want you, there are no amount of tweets or interviews that will change that. Have some dignity, and never put your own happiness on hold for the sake of revenge. Besides, only weak women hold on to situations that aren’t good for them or men that don’t want them. And weak women will always lose.