I don’t want to meet another aspiring rapper…

By: Amanda Anderson

Bitches, hoes, money, and frivolous spending are the essence of the lyrics that sadly make up the bulk of the rap songs that vastly move up on the Billboard charts, despite the lack luster talent backing them up. We live in a culture that values shiny things and plastic “bitches” over real people with real issues and real women. Over the course of time, not only have females downgraded themselves to barbies, bitches, and 5 star chicks; but most black men have also became thugs, drug selling criminals, baby daddies, and aspiring rap artists verses becoming college graduates, husbands and fathers.

This truth cannot be ignored, since the statistics demonstrate that this mentality is more prevalent than we’d like to admit, as black women attend college in higher rates than black men. The numbers get more depressing once we speak on the actual completion of college, and black women are left not only chasing after solid careers after graduation, but we’re also chasing after college educated black men like they are endangered species. To nab one in a world of single black educated women is tough, yet there’s an endless supply of Lil’ Waynes and Soulja Boys. Why are there more black men aspiring to be rappers, with legions of hoes and shiny things, verses becoming college educated brothers with legions of intelligence and the desire to invest their money?

Last week, V-103, a popular radio station in Atlanta released a controversial list on 8 reasons to date a white man. Although the list had many interesting observations, there was one in particular that really stuck out to me:

WHITE MEN DON’T GLAMORIZE IGNORANCE. They may listen to rap music, but they are smart enough not to act it out.

And why is that?

Now of course I know that there are some black men out here that can listen to rap music and not feel the need to transform into criminals and chase after shiny things they can’t really afford, but why do so many more black men choose to imitate the garbage they listen to?

A couple weeks ago, I did an article on 12 signs of undatable men. 2 signs I mentioned were brothers who were ignorant with money and brothers who regularly refer to women as bitches and hoes. Both of these bad habits are glorified in mainstream rap music, and planted deeply in the consciousness of black men through violent lyrics with dope beats.

And for a woman like myself, this makes it harder to date. A man’s mentality makes the core of a man. If he’s running around and looking up to Lil Wayne and them as role models, and Nicki Minaj as wife material, I’m pretty sure I’m not his type, and he’s certainly not mine. But I do believe that it’s rather sad that grown men can’t distinguish real life from Hollywood gimmicks.

I had an ex that glorified this lifestyle, and now he’s in prison while his baby’s momma raises their daughter alone. And there are many black men who share the same story.

Are they not being raised right or are they just lacking in good examples? It’s a serious question that deserves a serious answer if we ever want to revert back to the days of an endless supply of good black men, craving college education verses quick fame built on a platform of ignorant rap lyrics.

My father, grandfather, great grandfather and many others in my family were cut from a different cloth. Family was the core of their existence. They married women before they asked them to bare their children, and worked hard to leave something for the future generations.

It’s a totally different society now, and most men are expected to learn how to become men by relying on a series of loose images perpetrated in the media and rap music, since daddy decided to pack his bags and bounce as if his semen was the only thing required.

Sadly, it is now up to black women to break the cycle. You may disagree and think black men should fix their own problems, but men tend to only do what women will tolerate. In essence, 98 percent of the things men do is for women.

If we want to see a drastic decrease in aspiring rappers, then we as black women have to stop lusting and chasing after rappers. We have to stop dating aspiring rappers and instead date men with solid dreams that don’t involve degrading lyrics and cooning based mentalities in exchange for landing on the cover of XXL and Vibe.

We ourselves can’t become the type of females they rap about, and require our men to have more than shiny things, nice cars, and fat bank accounts. Instead, we should be looking for men who now how to invest, buy stocks, and save their money. And we will no longer call them cheap, but instead, a smart planner, and husband potential.

The moment we became bitches and hoes by choice, is the same moment are black men became street thugs and drug selling punks with no future outside of prison. When we choose to higher our standards, just maybe more black men will follow, and work hard to fit those standards.

As always, no shade, this comes from love, and a desire for us to do better. But as a whole, I don’t want to have to run to another race of men all together just because black men with intelligence and common sense isn’t billboard worthy, and aren’t keeping a music executive’s mortgage paid.

How about you?

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