Sometimes our love life is as good as the relationship advice we receive. Who are you talking to?

By: Amanda Anderson

When it comes to relationships these days, it seems as if we will take counsel from just about anybody willing to give it. We’re so confused about love, men, relationships; hell even marriage, that we’ll happily take any advice, as long as it permits us to forsake using our good old common sense and not do the one thing that we know that we should. It’s human nature to seek out a little assistance in our personal lives and our pursuits in love, but only an idiot would seek out relationship advice from someone who hasn’t demonstrated that they even know how to be in a relationship. And for that record, only a woman who truly doesn’t want to experience real love or satisfaction at the hands of a good man, would seek the conventional and just plain tired advice from a woman who thinks the worst of all men.

Why is it that so many women seek out man haters for assistance on finding a good man? It makes as much sense as trying to book a flight one day before the start of your vacation…nine times out of ten, you won’t get anywhere.

Now before you tell me that it’s not your girls that I’m talking about or your current situation, let’s examine the typical beliefs and foolishness that the man haters live by and speak on a frequent basis:

1. “All men are dogs.”


The Truth: No, all the men she has dated willingly are dogs.

2. “Never give a man 100%, because he will never give you 100%.”


The Truth: Only children and immature adults believe that a relationship can work without the full efforts of both individuals in the relationship. How old are these people?

3. “It’s smarter to just keep men around for random booty calls.”


The Truth: Studies show that extremely promiscuous women tend to stay single. But don’t shoot the messenger.

4. “Sex is better than love.”


The Truth: This really means that she hasn’t been in love before. Pardon her ignorance.

5. “It’s human nature for men to cheat.”


The Truth: No, it’s human nature for boys to cheat. Know the difference between men and boys.

6. “In order to get over your last relationship, you must hop into another one fast!”


The Truth: Sure, if you don’t want to stay in that relationship very long.

7. “That man is too nice to be with.”


The Truth: Nice men are usually the men we end up marrying, hence the phrase, “Nice guys finish last.” You can waste your time if you’d like, but eventually, you’ll pray to God for another nice guy.

8. “There’s nothing wrong with a little drama in a relationship, drama means you have something real.”


The Truth: Drama kills relationships, period. Meanwhile, a few problems here and there give couples a chance to grow closer.

9. “I don’t care what he does! I don’t need a man anyway. Money over everything.”


The Truth: This really means I’m lonely as hell, so I’ll just brag about my money instead.

10. “Men are horrible, and that’s why none of my relationships have ever worked out.”


The Truth: Out of all the breakups she’s had, she has no blame in any of those? Not buying it.




If a woman ever mentions any of the aforementioned in a conversation, run as fast as possible. This sister is the last person you should be seeking relationship advice from, not because she’s been unlucky in love, but because her attitude towards men and love absolutely sucks! Attitude is the one factor that determines not only where we will end up in life, but who we will ultimately share it with. If you want a bad man, hold on tight to a bad attitude. Now if you want a good man, you’re going to have to believe that they exist first.

She’s not optimistic what so ever, and she doesn’t even realize that her negative beliefs are what’s really hindering her from landing in a decent relationship and from crossing paths with a good man. Instead of increasing your chances of fairing better with men, she’s only decreasing your chances of attracting solid relationships. The more you listen to this advice, the harder it is to distinguish between you and the bitter soul you seek advice from.
So it’s really simple, you’re going to need relationship advice, but the success of your relationship depends on who you get the advice from. Smart women only seek advice from women who understand a few key things:

1. Men and women both need each other. To think otherwise is to be bitter and damn near foolish.
2. Every man should be judged by his individual character, not the wrong doings of the men that came before him. When you lump all men into one category, you will end up with that limited supply of men. It’s no coincidence that the women who always proclaim that all men are dogs always end up with dogs.
3. It’s imperative to open yourself to the possibilities, to hold back your best in a relationship out of fear of failure, will actually cause any relationship to fail. No sane person wants to stay in a relationship with someone who isn’t giving it their all.
4. It’s perfectly normal to vent to others outside of your relationship about your relationship, but the best person to talk to about your relationship is and will always be your partner. In fact, a smart girlfriend would encourage you to do so.



Take this rant how you want to, but I’m tired of watching my sisters give out horrible relationship advice because they are still hurting from their own failed relationships. We have got to use discernment when we seek advice, and stop spreading false information about men and love. And by the looks of the statistics, this advice damn near may keep more good black women single, rather than help them find the love of their lives. 
Be careful who you listen to ladies. It could affect your life.
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