Going back and forth with a person can become old after awhile.

By: Taren Vaughan

Has there ever been that one guy that you just can’t seem to get out of your system? For months sometimes years at a time, you go back and forth with him, hoping that one day you all will finally get it right. Problem is you always wind up breaking it off with each other yet again. Feels like you will never get to the point where you will not go running back to him. Or will you? Will there come a point where you will leave this man alone for good? Putting an end, I mean a real end, to what you and someone have is not always easy to do. Especially when they always make you believe that things are going to be better than they were before.

So what exactly will be so different this time?

Don’t tell me you fell for that “I’ve changed” line. Let’s break this comment down shall we. What that really means is that “I’m going to put up a front like I have become a better man and want to do right by you this time. But in actuality, I am just doing what I need to do to pull you back in. Then once you have let your guard down, I will show my ass again once I have successfully gotten your attention.” That’s pretty much the meaning behind that. Funny how a two word sentence can have such a complex meaning huh?

But really, what does going back to a person over and over again do for you?

Think about it. Or maybe that’s the problem. We don’t think. The idea of getting back with someone from our past that we really cared about is so exciting to us we lose every bit of common sense God gave us. We forget about the reason or reasons why we stopped dealing with that person. Guess we get too caught up in the good memories of what we and these people shared. But oh how quick we are to develop a slight case of amnesia when it comes to remembering all of the drama that they put us through. Did you forget how he cheated on you with multiple women? Remember all the lies that he told when you were nothing but honest with him? And don’t forget about how many times he made promises to you that he never kept.

So if he did all of these trifling things to you, why go back for Rounds 2, 3, and 4 of the BS? I mean didn’t you get enough of his ass the first go round?

There is one word that explains it all. Hope. That is the very thing that we hold on so tight to that allows us to fall back into the arms of a man who we just can’t seem to get over. It’s the hope that you have that maybe, just maybe he has changed his ways. You think to yourself that surely the time that you two were apart, he did some real soul searching and really cleaned up his act. If only that were true. I hate to break it to you, but chances are that he is still the exact same person, doing the same things that he once did before. Only difference is that he is a little older this time. If hope is all that you are going off of, you don’t have much to depend on. It’s about actually seeing him do things differently, put those “changes” into action. But if he is damn near pushing 30, change is the last thing that brother is going to do. He is a lost cause and it’s definitely not your job to play Super-Save-A-Ho. So keep it moving honey.

As much as we don’t want to, sometimes you have to just face it. You and that person are simply not now or not ever going to be a match made in Heaven. And no amount of time, tears or talking is going to change that. And getting back into a relationship or even heavily communicating with them over and over again will serve no real purpose. It’s all just a huge waste of time especially knowing exactly what kind of outcome to expect. What you got from him before is about all you are ever going to get from him. Nothing more and nothing less. Most of all, ask yourself “Is it worth going through again?” It’s probably not. All you are doing is re-opening a wound and throwing extra salt into it. Spare yourself the heartache and stress and put an end to this never ending saga that you have going on with this man. Before you hop back into a relationship or start talking back to someone again, think about why you are doing it. If you have to think about it too long, you already know what you need to do. Don’t even go down that road with them again. Throw up the deuces. For good this time.

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