Ever wondered why you keep attracting the wrong kinds of men? Maybe it’s because you’re in the wrong places.

By: Amanda Anderson
It’s not easy being single and looking…in fact, it’s probably one of the most frustrating things a woman must endure in her quest for happiness. It’s not only because good men aren’t necessarily as flashy as the trifling men, but their inability to stand out amongst the trash in trashy places, makes it even harder to find true love and something that’s damn sure worth holding on to.

So what’s a woman to do?

I am not the traditional woman, as I believe it’s always best to talk to men about men; but I also believe it’s always best to look for love in a place where a man isn’t usually looking for lust. Location isn’t just important when it comes to selecting the best in real estate, it’s also a huge factor in finding love. When a man is in an environment that encourages him to be mature and have a decent conversation, it’s easier to spot another dud from real potential. Yet, single women will spend most of their time in clubs, a place where no man sets out to find love in a crowd of future one night stands.

The club may be an obvious bad place to find a long term lover, but after talking to men, it’s clear that there are many places we thought were safe, that we may need to stay clear from if we’re ready for real love.

Here’s the top places men suggest you refrain from searching for the one big love.

“People, especially women aren’t going to like this answer, but it’s definitely the cold stone truth. Church is one of the worst places to pick up men. It sounds wrong, but let’s think about why the church is a bad place to pick up men. For one thing, church is where you will find a lot of hypocrites, I’m not bashing religion, but most men that are heavily involved in the church preach one thing and do another. They don’t practice the teachings of Christ, and they seem to have the worst issues. To get in a relationship with a dude like that won’t fair well. A real man who is serious about getting his life right with God isn’t going to church to pick up women. In fact, that is the last thing on his mind. He’s there to learn the word, and grow closer to God, not meet some woman he can sex on the weekends. If you’re being hit on in church, this isn’t a guy you want to be with on a serious level. Besides, every man knows you can scoop up the most women at church, so stay clear of the men at the church. There’s always an exception to the rule, but most likely, someone worth having will be too into the sermon to flirt with you. And honestly, he’s more dateable than they other guy who asked for your number at the pulpit.”- Jason D.

“Clubs! I don’t understand why women get all pretty and spend so much money to buy outfits for the clubs. Don’t ya’ll know we aren’t there looking for love? Ya’ll could walk up there in a potato sack and we would still try to grind on you to some nasty Plies track. Before we even walk up in the club, we’re talking about what kind of woman we are trying to take home. We’ll  buy you a drink, dance in a corner with you all night, but that doesn’t change the ultimate goal that we really have. I’m not saying you need to stop going, but I am saying you need to stop putting the clubs at the top of your list to meet men. 99% of the men that meet you there only want to have sex.”-Matthew R.

“I’d say the workplace is the worst place to meet men. It’s one thing to see your woman every other day, or a couple times a week. But everyday, for 8 hours? Yeah, that’s a recipe for disaster. A couple will fight, disagree, and even irritate one another; so figure that in with mandatory quality time at work, and you will have a disaster on your hands. What’s worse is having to see that person everyday after the break up. So I just avoid that all together.” -Joe F.

“The internet. All women looking for committed partners should avoid online hookups like the plague. Seriously, men have made a playground off of the internet. Still, we can pull women off of Blackplanet, Myspace, Twitter, and Facebook. And it’s easy as hell. Yeah, it’s not as easy as it used to be to find a good woman, but a man looking for a woman on the internet usually isn’t looking for a good woman. He’s looking for a booty call.” -Tavarius A.

Since we believe in balance here at Urban Belle, I thought it would be wise to find out where they believe it’s best to find a man.

The answers were quite interesting.

“In my opinion, the best place to find a man is at college or graduate school. This may sound obvious, but so many women are going to college and focusing on their degrees, and putting off love for after graduation. In all actuality, that isn’t really that smart. I mean, it’s harder to find someone worth keeping in the places you frequent after college, men are already developed professionally, and they are usually taken by the women who were with them during the development stage…and she’s the woman he met in school. Men in college are men who are serious about their futures. And it’s in college that you get to do some growing, so why not find your options in an environment where education and growth is encouraged? I met my wife in college, it wasn’t a perfect relationship, but we both have grown and I’m pretty sure college had something to do with that. Yes, there are immature fools sexing anyone with a vagina at college and those hoeish fraternity dudes, but there are some great men at college who are going unnoticed in class, while the hoeish frat guys and the immature fools get girls for days.  Learn to spot the assh-oles from the good dudes, and college will be the place you find your soulmate.” -James E.

” A library is the best place to meet a man. Men don’t go to the library to hang out. We go there to study for something, which means we’re focused and have goals; or to find more information on something, which again means we have goals and we understand the value of intellect. And honestly, that’s the only type of man a woman should be interested in.” -Frank P.

“If you’re into sports, go to a sports bar. Yeah, we’ll be with our friends, but we’ll appreciate a woman who understands the sport, and can have decent conversation about that sport. Every man values a woman who loves sports, and if you know your stuff, we’ll love to get to know you on a more personal level, just because it’s so easy to talk to you.” -Paul C.

“The best place to meet a man is anywhere you can have a decent conversation. Dating is about talking and getting to know someone. Stay in the environments that encourage that, and you’ll find something worth holding on to.” -Mike T.

Interesting.

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