Sometimes they come back, but what’s the real reason for their return?

By: Taren Vaughan

The men in our lives…some of them have a strong habit of jumping in and out of the picture. As time goes by, we get those random phone calls and text messages from them. And they usually are to the tune of “Hey, how have you been?” For the bolder men out there, they see no problem in paying us a visit at our house on a spare of the moment. But when a man does this to you, runs in and out of your life over and over again, what is his real purpose for doing it?

Now some of us believe it to be that it is because he knows he messed up and wants to make things right. He came back to me so it must mean that he is trying to do right by me this time. Well, not exactly. After a certain period of time goes by, a man from your past may show his face again with all of the good intentions in the world. He may really be on some serious stuff. But the flipside to that is that a man can come back into your life with the same cruel intentions that he had before.

How do I know all of this you ask?

Because I’ve had it happen to me. I was the one who he felt like he could run back to after he was finished dealing with another woman. I became that comfort zone for him. And because of the feelings that I had for him and the hope that I always held on to for us, I was so blinded by the real reason for his multiple returns back into my life. And that was for the sole purpose of making himself feel better and nothing more. Ego strokin’ is what that’s called. Truth is he never cared about me, respected me and damn sure never loved me. Truth is, I knew it and didn’t want to admit it. I only saw what I wanted to see.

When a man from your past pops back into the picture, sometimes you really have to question his motives. Is he sincerely trying to mend things with you and start anew? Or is he just trying to have that solid reminder that you are still there, just in case he gets lonely?

Furthermore, you have to put your heart on hold for a second and look at the situation for what it really is. Is he treating you any better than he was before? Is he putting forth a true effort to correct the mistakes and flaws between you two? If not, then you already know what “the great comeback” was for. And it wasn’t to salvage anything that you all had but it was for his own personal gain, the satisfaction that he knows that you are still not over him.

I say all this to you ladies not because I am trying to turn you into a bunch of man bashin’ bitter women. Not at all am I trying to do that. But I am doing it because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I made. Don’t want to see you put your heart on the line for someone that doesn’t do the same for you or even care enough about you as a person to keep it real with you. I want to spare you the pain, tears and wasted time. I could sit here and tell you what you want to hear and fill your head with fairy tales but I chose the honest approach. I think you will appreciate it a lot more in the long run.

To make a long story short, a man’s true intentions will come to the light, whether you are in search of them or not.

And The Ugly Truth will reveal itself to you sooner or later. Just thought I’d give you a heads up.

Much Love.

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